Separation or Divorce Mediation image: Mediator can help you both talk though issues image
Mediation – A Cost Effective Route to Divorce/Separation
Mediation – A better way to Divorce.
A sad reality is that nowadays between 20 – 40% of marriages end in divorce. Mediation can facilitate a less painful path to divorce or separation. Alternatively, mediation can assist in reconciliation depending on individual needs.
Call 087 98 32 112 for mediator
The actual process of separation and divorce is relatively straightforward.
However, many people may feel nervous of what the future holds. Another concern may be that they don’t know what the Courts will decide for their separation or divorce. Moreover, for many their relationship may be highly emotional and trust may no longer exist.
With mediation there is a neutral mediator helping both parties. There will not be a solicitor sending demanding letters to the other solicitor. The process can be quicker, less expensive and less aggressive. Without doubt, Family Mediation provides an extremely valuable and necessary service for couples who want to obtain a divorce or separation.
What if I feel too nervous?
However, we understand for many it can seem daunting to imagine sitting down in a room with the other party. Many times parties aren’t even talking to one another. This is where the mediator’s experience can help more than a solicitor’s in this particular situation. Sometimes, the mediator can converse with the other party and meet you both separately too if you prefer.
How do you help?
We encourage parties who are engaging in a separation or divorce at the outset to speak to the mediator about their concerns. This is best achieved at the first meeting – where the mediator can give parties the time necessary. The mediator will help put them at their ease .
Remember, you will have an experienced professional there who will ensure discussions (and emotions) are kept under control. Following on from this, there will be ground rules in place at the start of the meeting. If at any stage you have difficulty you can take a break or come back another day. It is an informal process and works as the parties themselves help find a suitable agreement .
With the mediator’s help you would both work through all the issues you need to in order to resolve matters so the two of you can get through your divorce or separation as easily as possible.
How does the process work?
Usually, the family mediator will see both parties together and will work out an agreement for the division of assets, spouse and child maintenance etc. All issues that are necessary for the preparation of a divorce or separation document will feature in your discussions with the mediator. Once in agreement on all matters, the mediator will prepare a document known as a legally binding mediation settlement agreement for separation or divorce.
DIY Divorce or DIY Separation and Mediation ?
Once parties decide they want to divorce and perhaps do it themselves it is necessary for them to work out the terms of that agreement. Mediation with a trained mediator can help them achieve their goals. Once they have that agreement that is acceptable to both parties they will then have a legally binding agreement for separation or divorce.
Reasons to choose mediation to help you obtain a separation or divorce.
1. It is cheaper.
To get a solicitor to help with a divorce or separation in Ireland the legal fees can easily mount up to €20,000 for contentious cases and depending also on what firm of solicitors you engage. Typically, mediation costs are usually about 10% of what legal costs may be. The reason for this is quite simply as the parties go through all the necessary issues with the mediator themselves. Thus, they aren’t the usual costs associated with solicitors corresponding with the other side to reach agreement.
2. You are in control.
Each party will decide the outcome for themselves. No judge decides the outcome you are in control.
3. You can still go to court.
Parties can still use the court system if they are not happy with mediation or it does not work out. Mediation is simply an alternative to this system & enables parties to decide how they obtain their divorce or separation.
4. It is confidential.
The mediator does not discuss your case with anyone else. In addition, each party signs an agreement to keep matters in the mediation and not discuss them with anyone else.
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CASE STUDY
A couple engaging in a separation. The husband had moved out shortly after the birth of a daughter. His wife was extremely hurt and upset that he was having very little contact with the baby. Therefore, unfortunately, the relationship was over. She did want the child to have a reasonable relationship with his father after the separation of the marriage.
Moreover, at the individual meetings, the mediator discovered that both parties feared for their financial future if they were to separate.
In the end, the mediator and the parties managed to work out a settlement that was acceptable and practical for all. This was set out in a memorandum of understanding (separation document) that gave both parties certainty as to what their financial responsibilities were.
As well as having a financial resolution to the dispute, the additional results of the mediation were that the fear and animosity were diffused, the father had good contact with his child, and they were all able to move on with their lives after the separation (the parties ultimately got an amicable divorce).
Another couple sought help with their financial affairs, which were reasonably complicated with a lot of property.
Neither party felt as if the other ever listened to them. In mediation each party must feel heard and if a way forward is to be found it is necessary for each person to understand the other’s point of view. We managed to get them to agreement on division of assets. Once they both knew what the future held for each of them, we could see the stress on each of their faces visibly reduce.
Call today to talk to an approachable professional on 087 89 32 112 or email us at mediation@live.ie
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